Stress-resistant people share certain perspective that may make them healthier. They see change as a challenge, feel a sense of commitment to something, and have a feeling of being in control of their lives. Take your cue from these people Especially remember that even when you don’t have control over events, you do have control over your reactions to those events, which can greatly lower your stress level.

Recognizing Your Choices
Here’s an exercise to help you counteract one form of negative self-talk: black-and-white thinking. Use this exercise to help you begin to see the wide, colorful spectrum of choices you have for dealing with the stressors in your life. Often you can take action, But even when you can’t, you can change your thinking to help you reduce stress.
Stressors You CAN Control
Make list of the stressors in your life that you have some control over. They might be daily hassles, ongoing problems, or more rarely, major events.
Example:
1. Car trouble
Action You CAN Take
Take one or two of your stressors and generate as many options for action as you can. Write down whatever comes to mind. Don’t edit; one idea may lead to another.
Example:
1. Get car fixed.
2. Set up appointments for regular auto maintenance.
3. Use public transit more regularly.
4. Buy a more reliable car.
5. Take auto maintenance classes.
Stressors you CAN’T Control
Now list the stressors in your life that you think you have no control over. You may find, however, that you can move some of these into the first category: stressors you can control. For example, you may feel helpless to do anything about a bad relationship, but, in fact, you can always end or change the relationship.
Example:
1. Being laid off.
Thoughts You CAN Change
Generate new ways of looking at these problems. At first glance, the stressful event may have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Think again. Is there anything to be gained from this experience?
Example:
1. Can take opportunity to review my career path.
2. Can spend more time with my children.
3. Can take a class during the daytime.