Thursday, July 01, 2010
You know, it's been very interesting to revisit my near death experience many, many times. It's been 26 years since it occurred, and yet it has always hovered over me as a place to remember....just like visiting home :).
Now, what is happening is I'm remembering the experience so that I can see the truth in every situation. With this said, no one has the truth outside of us, and I'll explain what I mean.
In 1984, I was six months pregnant, and awakened with intense pain in my leg. After making a phone call to my doctor, it was determined that I had a blood clot, and my doctor said I should be seen by him. My doctor's practice was located in a city where I worked, and would require a 2 hour commute. Upon giving this information to my doctor, he didn't feel it was problematic. As I was getting ready, I began to feel faint. Thus, we decided to make a mad dash to our local ER. The intensity of the pain in my leg was so great that my husband got me a wheelchair when we arrived at the hospital because I couldn't walk. While in the ER, I began to feel faint again, and was quickly wheeled into the main ER room.
This is where the near death experience occurred. I immediately entered another dimension of higher consciousness and experienced such profound peace. Even though the ER staff was rushing around frantically, and one nurse said, "We're losing her and the baby's heart rate is dropping," her words had no meaning to me. In addition, another nurse grabbed my wrist, and told me that she needed to poke a needle in my wrist and that it would hurt. Yet, you can probably imagine I felt no pain whatsoever. I was at zero point, at no meaning land....nothing had any signficance. My thoughts stopped, and the only thing that resonated was my heightened state of being. It just existed without putting any label to it. Incidentally, unbeknownst to me, my husband was told that we, the baby and I, may not make it and to prepare himself.
Then I heard my own voice say, "I just want to go to sleep." Then another voice said, "It's not your time." This is when I was given an IV of heparin, which thins the blood, and I came back into the third dimension filled with the intense pain once again. To make a long story short, I did have pulmonary emboli (clots on my lung). I did recover and delivered a beautiful baby girl, Lindsay, one month later at a bouncing 3 lbs. 11 oz...she's a whopper :).
What did this near death experience teach me?
Like I said, over the course of many years, this experience has hovered around me. Now, within the last six months, I've embraced it into my whole being. Why? Because nothing outside of me dictates anything, especially truth. The nurses comments were based on the machine I was hooked up to, and the reflection of the numbers that were being revealed. I am the co-creator with my life, along with my soul and all my beings of light. It is these co-creators which dictate the truth, and events and situations will unfold as a mechanism to reveal this truth.
I know that during that time I entered another dimension, I was given a choice to leave or to stay. Although it's not within my frame of reference to remember this, but I do know the choice was made for me to stay. With this said, the next steps were put in motion to make this a reality.
Now, I see this near death experience for the message it gives me, and know that many things happening outside of me will call into question my own truth...be it health, relationships, financial issues, etc. If I give into these things as being true, then my own truth gets distorted from coming into being, and the perception of chaos ensues.
That's why it's important to come from a higher state of consciousness that knows the truth. The ego, the physical mind, can't know the big picture. It may only see numbers and start the ol' chaos ball rolling. The numbers have no meaning in and of themselves, it's only what we've trained ourselves to look at when we see numbers...high, low, good, bad, too much, not enough. Thus, you can see how much emphasis is placed on things outside of us as truth.
We can remember one thing: Circumstances don't matter. Only state of being matters. It's that simple!